Welp...

Dec. 11th, 2012 01:07 pm
sephirajo: (WoW: Alindal)
First day I feel like cleaning in ages and I find out someone decided to vacuum up a chopstick with the vacuum cleaner, thus rendering it dead. So for my trouble trying to unclog the sucker and find the hole I have two deep cuts. One on my foot and one on my hand.

My dog, Jake, (yes, like in that Jake) has decided what Mommy obviously needs us a vigorous game of tug of war. Well, after my battle with the cleaner, what Mommy here needs is to relax.

I have Christmas music going and I tried to find my nativity but I think it got lost in the shuffle. I'll have Chuck check downstairs for it later.

Let's see, I also got WoW: Mists of Pandaria for my birthday. I actually like it. (And thanks very much, gifter!) I kind of want to start writing fiction for my WoW characters again, but I'm afraid of what everyone would think of it. I need to try to get some original writing done too, now that I'm jobless.

In SWTOR news, I finally got my Assassin tank, Hen'na out of her nightgown top and into the Black Hole top so she no longer looks mind numbingly stupid. And the new space missions are hard, and that's coming from me, the Queen of space missions, holy crap. I'll have to puzzle them all out later. But that's about it.
sephirajo: (Lupus Sucks)
Exhausted but I have tags I have to do so we'll see if I can't shake off the blahs. Only eaten once today, not really hungry anymore. Tired. Sore. Sick. Hate myself for not being able to clean and my skin is covered with discoid sores.

Gonna be in my corner.
sephirajo: (backstab)
Yay, work today is going to suck! Just a quick post here (also x-posted to my LJ) so people know what's up with me, my husband was admitted to the hospital last night due to his depression. Not going to go into the details here, but yeah.



Distraction later tonight would be very welcome, we'll put it that way.
sephirajo: (Because I have to)
The kamishibai community probject that has been eating my soul for the last...well...since October is nearing an end! At 38 pages of text so far and over 170 different images, some of which have multiple animation frames it's been slowly killing me. But it's not a bad death persay. It just makes it hard for me to cocentrate on plotting anything else.

This much work though, needs to be shared... when it's done I'll post the finished file with a link to the player (though the player doesn't work on macs >__<) and yeah. Anyone who wants to read one of my dorky side projects would be welcome to. Images under the cut, and those the images are small, there's a lot of them.

Augh, )

And that's just a fraction of the images. Guh.

In other news, I'm likely going to have to give up my violin, I don't know if we'll have rent, and we'll still chornically short on food. I damn near killed myself cleaning the kitchen and I've spent the last two weeks in enough pain to induce a couple of fits of, what is for lack of a better word, insanity. I'd go into urgent care of the ER over this if I had insurance. x__x

I'd like something to go right.
sephirajo: (Ino chibi)
Click me for a climpse of what my illness can be like and what people have to go through.

I'm going to be culling my friends list shortly. I use this for a sounding board for a lot of things, but mostly as a safe place to rant about my health. My husband, despite having a livejournal account doesn't really read these. So this has always given me a place to unload without worrying my husband. Things will sound dark, bleak, possibly emo, but my illness is not an easy one. It's not just fibro. It's not just lupus. Only someone else with extremes in health problems can really understand this. So I'm done trying to cater to understanding. Everyone is welcome to think of me what they will for the content here, but damn it, I'm going to do what I've wanted to do and unload.

Rules: if it's under a cut and the cutline is a subject you don't want to hear about? Don't. Read. It. The tags "woe is jo", "lupus" and "fibro" are generally going to have some venting in it. If it bothers you, don't read it. I am not trolling for anyone's sympathy (and I know saying that makes it suspect). This is a place Chuck doesn't read where I don't have to scare the hell out of him so I can smile and tell him I'm fine. I need this and I can't afford (nor do I want) therapy. So there you have it.

Now, if you haven't please go read The Spoon Theory.

And browse www.butyoudontlooksick.com Which is a very good reference for people who have chornic illnesses and people wanting to learn what it's like.

I'm back up and in opperation. I need the daily dump.

Stuff

Jan. 9th, 2010 10:26 pm
sephirajo: (Grevious Muffin OTP)
Well, a few updates. My work's claim that I was lazy and not sick was dismissed. The judge sounded less than impressed. He ruled in the first case that I was indeed ill and could therefore receive Unemployment.

But at the hearing, my work failed to appear, saying they got no notice.

The judge was not impressed.

Their claim was dismissed.

In other news, I am roasting a chicken tomorrow. Anyone have any recommendations for vegetables to be put in it?

Oh, I also made a music video today:
sephirajo: (Bethoveen Trashes Hotel)
Me playing. I don't know how much Chuck got or the quality of it, as I've been fighting off racking bouts of pain all day. I could really use... something. Time to gut one log I've been sitting on and then decide on a day for Dori stuff, I suppose.

Also: Find Zombieland Icons.
sephirajo: (Giant Cassie)
At work. Chuck came over with Vivi. Showed her off to the office and then went to lunch. I'm back. Drew two pictures last night, will art dump one of them later. And only one as I haven't heard from the recipient (or victim?) of the other one. >__>

Paranoia score right now is 9.5. All "why aren't people talking to me" and "omg everyone must hate me." Not to mention still feeling like a total and complete idiot/asshole. I could use a place to hide. And sleep.

Lack of sleep isn't helping. Maybe two hours last night? Pain is hard to sleep through.

...Everyone is talking fashion and I feel so lost.

I'm exhausted and yeah.

This has been the five minute update.
sephirajo: (On a Full Moon)
Okay, this post is pure brain rotting fluff. Chuck bought me a kitten. We named him Ash. We were going to call him Soot, but whenever Vi said that it came out like 'Shit.' So Ash. He pretty much is mine. Hangs out with me and all that fun stuff.

Pics are under the cut.

Also featured today, a drawing Vivi did of Zoey, or other cat.

KITTY PICTURES )

VIVI ART )

Murr

Aug. 3rd, 2009 03:49 pm
sephirajo: (Default)
At work. Hurting. Girly issues may be involved, will post more on that later. Mom is meddling in my marriage again.

I hate that.

Finished my challenge entry for the kamishibai board on time, yay! Wordless story, ftw. Though I don't think I'll win, I am actually proud of what I did. It's not often I'm really proud of my work. One of my issues: I think I suck (and not in the happy funtime way.)

Anyway, back to work. Lots of tooth pain, should email dentist. Wasn't able to eat lunch, things are tasting like salt again.

Will have screens of the wordless story up later.

Update

Jun. 18th, 2009 01:26 pm
sephirajo: (Strangely enough I have this conversatio)
Day...wow, three at mom's. John stole my laptop yesterday as part of his way to show his feelings about us being here. It was unceremoniously tossed in a cubbie hole that was damn near impossible to open.

I got my tooth fixed yesterday. The downside is now everything tastes like clove and the flavor is making me sick to my stomach.

Our power's still out. And yeah. At this point, I'm wondering if we'll be able to go home. We're waiting on something that will take two weeks to get here. None of us have our rooms right now so we kept getting woken up by Vivi who was demanding things in the middle of the night.

Given what a few people have said to me, I'm going to put up a new filter on my LJ. If you don't mind my ranting on the bad days, comment here and you'll be on the filter. No one comments, this journal is going to have a lot more personal locked entries.

I'm out another day of work today because for two days in a row I wasn't able to take my flexeril. I can barely move day. It's broiling here and Mom has no Air Conditioning. I'm just... yeah.
sephirajo: (Sue Richards SD)
Made it to work today. Going to get my tooth pulled, the apointment being at 11 tomorrow. Hopefully it will go okay.

I'm REALLY looking forward to what will be three days of spitting blood, but at least the tooth will be GONE and then I can get back to life as normal.

Either way, other than the pain that's poking through the pills, things are going moderately okay today. I'm getting a bit farther on chapter 2 of my dorky side project and I have XP logs going.

Everything else, I'll take a step at a time. :3

But yeah. Hoping to be able to work. And keep working. even tomorrow, after the tooth is pulled.

At work!

Apr. 30th, 2009 10:35 am
sephirajo: (Z Grins)
Can you believe it? I'm actually at work. I'm feeling decent enough today. I'm still hurting, still in pain, but it's not the bone splitting madness that it was earlier this week.

I should write things. And catch up on posts - on my lunch for the latter, I think. But yeah.

*giggles*

Yay for having a not being a total painball!

:D

Right now, I will totally take any and all offers for rp writing too, since when I'm not in bone splitting pain I can actually think. Imagine that, being able to think.
sephirajo: (On a Full Moon)
...Has been an illness related hell. I'm still sitting on a couple of logs, I think... I'm not sure so whoever I may owe the posting of something, ping me? Anyway, I'm finally starting to get over the cold from hell. The deafness/congestion and coughing hit really hard again today and went to see a NP.

She listened to me better than the doctor did and gave me cough syrup instead of telling me to use honey, agreed that I have a cold, not allergies but gave me an inhaler recognizing that breathing problems are really common with my two conditions. She also refilled my percoset for me after I told her it was for my cramps and when my fibro acts up. And, you know, she listened. Something the doctor from hell didn't. The doctor from hell the other week insisted that my problem was my cat and that I had to get rid of my cat and I wouldn't be truly healthy until I did so, got a neti pot and started eating all natural foods.

If it wasn't for the fact that my sinuses felt like they were filled with burning oil when I saw him I think I would've kicked him in his balls. Especially when he kept saying, "you're a healthy young woman." I did convince him to give me antibiotics though. Which likely staved off a sinus infection. I get a lot of these.

Either way, I'm feeling a lot better and I don't expect to be missing work anymore this month. I've said that before, though, so let's see how this goes. As far as Mass this week goes, I'll be around all day Sunday. I have to go to Saturday Night mass because, quite simply, lilies are my kryptonite only without the cool glowing and junk.

We're supposed to, in theory, get the money from Dad's last paycheck/30 days paid vacation/yearly bonus soon. I'll believe it when I see it. We did send the paperwork on the way. The boys are estimating 11k a person, and it'd be nice.

But I'll believe it when I see it. I have very little faith in things. I find if I'm pessimistic I can't be upset by anything anymore. I mean, quite a few things lately have just turned out for the worse. On the 3rd of April it was two years since we found Erika.

I miss her a lot. And I miss Dad so much. Le sigh.

I do have quite a lot to update on, but I will do all that later. I have a few plot ideas swimming in my head... hopefully I'll get those down. And short and long stories... And Chuck has to get his depekote levels tomorrow.

But anyway, now a meme. I stole this from [livejournal.com profile] nute.

Books/reading Meme )

Things!

Apr. 3rd, 2009 01:19 am
sephirajo: (Galaxia)
I've been really, really sick the last week. I'm just now starting to get better. Means I'll likely be out work tomorrow but back full swing on Monday. This has been the cold from HELL. So yeah, sick as a dog and out an entire week. Lupus+Cold = Pwnd

But in other baby related news look under the cut for AWESOME!

Vivi Drew This )

Huh.

Mar. 30th, 2009 02:09 am
sephirajo: (The Emperor Comes)
I'm up right now, I can't sleep. The last few days have been loads of fun, and I mean that in every sarcastic sense possible. I'm still nursing the cold from hell, I have no voice and am coughing up my lungs. That, on top of other more personal conditions being worse than they've been since high school has made me a ball of laughs.

It was brought to my attention lately that I've been pretty bitchy. I know I have been snappy lately, and my illness is not a catch all excuse for everything. Neither is the stress I'm under. I know my grief and finical situation right now also makes me sound like a broken record of 'woe-is-jo' and the like. Since I get the feeling that's been bothering people too, I'll stop posting those entries.

One thing, this is also an open floor. If people would feel free to say exactly and brutally what they think of me I'd be much obliged. You don't have to worry about hurting my feelings or my self image. I'm a girl who firmly believes she's an ugly, whiny moron. It's best to be honest with yourself, after all. So yeah, I'm not fishing for compliments, but I'd like to hear what you all think of me, seriously.

In other news, to put the broken record back on deck, this week will be really, really hard for me. The 3rd of April marks the two year anniversary of finding my sister dead, and two months without Dad if you go from the time of his heart attack. That's all I have to say as per that. I'll keep the record to myself from now on. I'm sorry I've been subjecting you all to all of that.

Oh yeah, you can comment anonymously, but if you're taking me up on the tell it as it is offer, I'd love if you used your journal.
sephirajo: (Default)
At home.

Exhausted and bored.

My life sucks at the moment.
sephirajo: (yahtzee gun at the head)
I'm hovering somewhere between 'fine' and 'depressed.' I have twenty dollars for the next two weeks, bills coming due and yeah.

We sent off the affidavit of beneficiary for Dad's last check and his bonus. It will be split three ways. Of course, we have no idea how long this will take and how long it will be. So, things are going to be interesting for awhile.

Chuck wants me to go on disability. I really don't want to. Then what would I do? Sit around all day and soak up my pain? Fuck no. It's not like his bio-polar disorder where it's bad enough to distrupt how you react to things sometimes...

It's not the same freaking thing. Chuck says I have too much pride. *sigh*

I don't know how we're going to get through the next few days. But I'll send Chuck to the food shelf for that... if we can get stuff like that... the rest of my money can go to gas. :/

I... am thinking of getting a new job. I love my job but if I could get something like at comcast with the pay being a bit more and a night-ish shift... that might be a bit easier for me? Maybe.

I want to try to get another job, but there's no way I could hold two jobs.

What I would love to do would be to go back to school, but I don't see that ever happening.

I miss Dad too... that's making me sick. It's amazing how much stress can fuck with both the lupus and the fibro. To the point where it hurts to wear clothes. The other peeps on my Flist who deal with this know just what I'm talking about.

I was going to say something else, but one, I can't remember what it was and two I don't want to worry anyone. The fits of just staring off into nothing are getting worse.

I want to try to write some of my original stuff before my brains go down the tubes completely. But I... can't stand my own writing. It's like it's missing something... Nothing ever seems right to me. I worry about my RP writing too, if it's up to snuff.

And now I'm just rambling. Long story short: I'm broke, paranoid, self loathing, slightly depressed and in pain.

I want to hear Dad use the line from Big Trouble in Little China once more. Just once more. Since he always adapted it to us...

Fang, you were not put on this Earth to get it.

Ah Dad. I really don't get it. So you, and that creepy old Chinese guy, were right.
sephirajo: (yahtzee gun at the head)
At work, woo!

Still not feeling well, but I suppose I should be resigning to the fact that I'll never feel totally healthy again no matter what I do to try to get that way. Which seams a bit emo, but that's more acceptance than anything.

We're getting copies of Dad's cert. of death today. (These are also know as the 'croaking papers.') With that I get to skip in to my lovely foray of managing an estate.

Oh joy and rapture.

But moving on, I should write stuff. But I always say that. But on the other hand, I do like things to do. Hmm.

That and no one ever responds to my saying I'll do free drabbles. My writing isn't that bad.

Or purple. XD

But yeah. Stuff.

Blah. At least I'm at work. No lunch today, unless I want to deal with the milk that turned before the date on its carton and make oatmeal.
sephirajo: (Default)
At work. And tired. The meds don't change that. Whenever I'm awake I'm exhausted.

But yeah. At work. Hurting a lot today, my right elbow keeps going off and it feels like someone hitting my funny bone. Which is not fun. My fingers and my shoulders are also bugging me, but yeah.

Someone, please keep me awake at this hell hole?

Also, note: Must Kill Work Will. He volunteered me for moving to these new desks with him.

These new desks are not cubes.

They are tables by a wall. Wide open and stupid. I am not happy. Where will all my super heroes go? I will set up Black Bolt to be staring right at him.

Because, grrr.

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Sephira jo

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