sephirajo: (Light of a fading star)
Well, don't know what to say really right now. Typing is hard right now. My hands are spasming. I haven't been able to write anything. Want to be able to write stuff, but yeah. I can't put my foot forward in anything, I'm just terrified to.

So yeah. That's all I had. I can't think through the muscle spasms right now. I fail at everything.

An update

Jun. 17th, 2009 02:52 am
sephirajo: (Default)
Apparently it's illegal to stay in a house with no power after 8:30, at least in the city I'm in. Some ordence of something.

Anyway, I'm at my mom's. No, we haven't gotten any help on the bill. And no, I don't expect things will turn out okay this time. This is like a softer form of eviction. I'm going to go get the dry socket looked at tomorrow, but given the pain has kept me from sleeping well AT ALL and I've forgot my muscle relaxers tomorrow will be another day off of work.

I'm a very depressed Jo. A few of you have offered hugs, but I'm disappointed that none of my family members have even said anything. :/ Many of them follow my face book updates and, well, everyone's more concerned about Aunt Jenny's new baby then they are about me and my family getting kicked out of our home. Since what's happening is basically a softer form of eviction.

There is emergency assistance available. But they want all the documentation, including my birth certificate, which, surprise, surprise we don't have. As I was born in Iowa it will take about TWO WEEKS to get it. I do not expect we'll be able to get it.

Hell, we don't even have car insurance right now because of how little I've been pulling in.

cut for the emo )

I dislike my life at the moment.
sephirajo: (calm galaxia)
This makes Jo sad. Very, very sad.

Jo is also a very, very tired Jo today, though she came into work anyway. Anyone want to help keep me awake? T___T

Talkings? Logs? Hamsters? *falls over ded*

Even with enough sleep I'm still exhausted.
sephirajo: (Ino Attacks)
It occurs to me that I want a new mood theme. ...And that I'd like to at least make one for xp!Cammie and Doreen.

But I'm not sure how to do this. Anyone know how? Once I know the graphic part I can do that on my own...

But yeah.

I'm exhausted right now and I need to fine tune stuff for el plot... and just vegging. The upping of my medication makes me so tired. Tomorrow is going to be a bitch.

Anyway, yeah. Anyone know how to do the mood theme stuff?
sephirajo: (yahtzee gun at the head)
I'm hovering somewhere between 'fine' and 'depressed.' I have twenty dollars for the next two weeks, bills coming due and yeah.

We sent off the affidavit of beneficiary for Dad's last check and his bonus. It will be split three ways. Of course, we have no idea how long this will take and how long it will be. So, things are going to be interesting for awhile.

Chuck wants me to go on disability. I really don't want to. Then what would I do? Sit around all day and soak up my pain? Fuck no. It's not like his bio-polar disorder where it's bad enough to distrupt how you react to things sometimes...

It's not the same freaking thing. Chuck says I have too much pride. *sigh*

I don't know how we're going to get through the next few days. But I'll send Chuck to the food shelf for that... if we can get stuff like that... the rest of my money can go to gas. :/

I... am thinking of getting a new job. I love my job but if I could get something like at comcast with the pay being a bit more and a night-ish shift... that might be a bit easier for me? Maybe.

I want to try to get another job, but there's no way I could hold two jobs.

What I would love to do would be to go back to school, but I don't see that ever happening.

I miss Dad too... that's making me sick. It's amazing how much stress can fuck with both the lupus and the fibro. To the point where it hurts to wear clothes. The other peeps on my Flist who deal with this know just what I'm talking about.

I was going to say something else, but one, I can't remember what it was and two I don't want to worry anyone. The fits of just staring off into nothing are getting worse.

I want to try to write some of my original stuff before my brains go down the tubes completely. But I... can't stand my own writing. It's like it's missing something... Nothing ever seems right to me. I worry about my RP writing too, if it's up to snuff.

And now I'm just rambling. Long story short: I'm broke, paranoid, self loathing, slightly depressed and in pain.

I want to hear Dad use the line from Big Trouble in Little China once more. Just once more. Since he always adapted it to us...

Fang, you were not put on this Earth to get it.

Ah Dad. I really don't get it. So you, and that creepy old Chinese guy, were right.


sephirajo: (Default)
Sephira jo

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